It Might Be Time to Stop Cooking...

We will have a long, gorgeous post for you in the next couple days documenting our baking for Sophie's Sale. Until then, something to make you laugh.

You might need to stop cooking if...

You know dinner is ready when you hear the smoke alarm

Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red biohazard symbols.

When you grill two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.

Your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop.

Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

You've used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Palmolive and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.

You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.

Have a happy, safe, and fun weekend!

How to cook Swiss chard (or the Secret to Happiness in Life)

Update on bake sale posts: The pictures from our baking day for Sophie's Yard Sale are on Maria's computer, so we have to wait for her (the perpetually busy grad student) to get the baking post done. When she's done with that, I'll do my post about the actual bake sale. In the meantime, here's a little recipe for you from me, the slightly less busy mom. Julia, the cowgirl/epidemiologist is busy gallivanting around Colorado and crunching numbers, so when she gets a chance to sit still, she'll do a post about eggs. She knows all about eggs, thanks to the 11 chickens and one turken who live in her backyard.

Anyway....

Life is better because of Swiss chard (Okay, from now on, I will just call it chard - apologies to the Swiss). It's true! Chard is one of those vegetables that you totally knock before you try. I did. I remember when my friend, Vickie "Gardener Extraordinaire" gave me a bunch of it and said, "Here. Have some Swiss chard. " I was like, uh, Swiss what? It looked way too green, way too big and way to healthy to eat. I think I passed it on to a friend who had discovered, but not yet shared with me, the secret amazingness (is that a word?) of chard.Time passed and I finally got brave. I googled (can you believe that word is in the dictionary?) "how to cook swiss chard" and found this recipe on SimplyRecipes.com. After adding a bit of my own flair in the form of pancetta (or bacon if you're lucky), I've concluded that this recipe is the best way to prepare chard. So, here you go. The secret to happiness in life. Who knew!?

Swiss Chard: "The Bitch Stopped Cooking" Way:

What you need:

• a big bunch of Swiss chard. Organic if you can find it. Look for a PLU that starts with the number nine, which indicates an organically grown veggie.
  

• two or three cloves of garlic, thinly sliced

• red pepper flakes

• 1/4 cup pancetta in cubes or a slice of bacon

AND/OR

• olive oil

What to do:

Make this the same day you buy the chard, if possible. Chard can get bitter if you wait. Wash the chard in a salad spinner. Cut off the stems and remove the ribs if they're thicker than about 1/4 inch. To do this, fold the chard leaf like a book and cut down along the rib. Easy as pie! Set the stems aside (don't chuck them out). Gather the chard together and cut it into 1 inch strips. No need to be exact or graceful here, it's going to shrink down to a piddly amount. Cutting it into strips is really just an attempt to make the large, slightly unwieldy leaves more manageable. Cut a few of the stems into 1 inch pieces. The rest can be tossed, composted, fed to the worms - whatever you do in your house. In a large frying pan, over medium to medium-high heat, add a tablespoon or so of oil or the pancetta (or bacon). Add the garlic and red pepper flakes. How many red pepper flakes is up to you and depends on your tolerance for heat. Even if you're a big wimp when it comes to spice, try at least a few flakes. They're not really that spicy in small amounts and they add some nice flavor. Now, add the stem pieces. Push the garlic, red pepper flakes, stems and pancetta around in the pan for a bit and let them get cozy with each other. I am out of pancetta tonight, so this is the vegetarian version.


After about three minutes or so (whatever, just don't burn the stuff), dump in the chopped up chard.

If it doesn't all fit, wait a second till it wilts a bit and then add more. I usually just put it all in even if it's overflowing, but it's up to you. Cover it all with a lid and wait. After about 4 or so minutes, check on it. If it's mostly wilted and looks a bit like this:

flip it all over with tongs or a spatula. Cover it again and let cook for another 4 or so minutes. Four minutes seems so exact, but really I have no idea how long I actually cook it for. I think it's about 4 minutes, definitely not longer than 5 minutes. It's something you just have to do by sight, you know?

A caveat: don't have the burner on too high. Burned chard is NASTY.

When it's all wilted and you find yourself in shock to see that the massive amount of green leaves you so recently crammed into your frying pan has turned into a piddly pile of green soggy mess, it's all done and ready to eat! Salt and pepper if needed and there you go.
Enjoy the sweaters it leaves on your teeth!!


Yes, those are fish sticks. Admit it - you love them, too. We got these at Trader Joe's. Yum!

The beans are from my garden!

If you're wondering about the things in the background of the picture of the chard in the dish drain....

• the pink water bottle is by Crocodile Creek - love it!
• the high chair tray is from my favorite high chair, made by Svan
  
• I miss fresh off the tree California oranges
• if you don't have an alcohol filled ice cream scoop, get yourself one ASAP
  

Commercial Break

We are putting together a big post for you all showing our HUGE success at the yard sale (Chatham, you are amazing), but it is really time consuming, especially considering that collectively we are a mother cowgirl graduate student grieving an earth-shattering loss. So, we gave you something to enjoy in the meantime.

Check out how lucky Maria is tonight. Also check out how it's 9:18 and he is just now looking at the recipe on the computer. Oh, and check out how hard he is gripping the counter. Please don't check out how dusty those lamps are.

Oh, and if you want an apron like Dan's and you don't have one yet, you can get one here.

UPDATE: We were eating by 10:06 (that's normal in this household) and it was DELICIOUS. This is what it looked like:


Mustard Maple Crusted Panko-Breaded chicken. It was heavenly. You can get the recipe here. The cook is all mine, though.

Baking for Sophie: Part I

Well, we got in over our heads. It's 10:50 p.m. and we have to get up way too soon, so the grand post we had planned to document our baking adventures today will have to wait till tomorrow (or the day after.....). For those of you who are checking this blog out after supporting our bake sale table at Sophie's Sale, here's a list of our goodies with links to the original recipes. We will expand on each goodie, along with some pictures of our baking adventures. Check back soon for those posts. They are sure to entertain you, as we had a blast baking for Sophie today. Everything was made with love and most were made with lots and lots of butter. Life really is better with butter.

• The Best Coffee Cake. Ever.

• Lemon Squares

• Brownies (A confession: We cheated. Get yourself to your local market and pick up a box of Betty Crocker's brownie mix and follow the "cake-like" recipe)

• 7-Layer Bars - gluten-free!

• Toll House Chocolate Chip cookies - find on the back of the Toll House chocolate chips bag

• Reverse Whoopie Pies (not burgers)

• Blueberry Muffins

• Sophie's Zucchini Bread

Contact us for recipes for the other goodies you enjoyed that are not listed here. We will get them from our baker elves who helped stock today's bake sale table.

With love and thanks,
Maria and Hannah

An Important Event on Cape Cod

Please read this flyer and if you are in the area, consider attending or donating items to be sold.

All proceeds benefit the two children of our sweet cousin, Sophie Corrigan, who we tragically lost last weekend.
We hope you can be there.

Pass this on to a friend...

Cooking For Sophie

Our family had a terrible tragedy this past weekend. We lost our beautiful cousin, Sophie. We are utterly shaken to the core. Gathering with family and friends at her parents' house here on Cape Cod has been heartbreaking and also incredibly helpful in dealing with our loss. Every night, many of us gather to eat dinner together, to hug, to share stories, tears, and laughs. Food has been nourishing in more ways than just for nutrients - it's given us something to concentrate on, something to taste and enjoy, something to share and provide. I'd like to give you a couple recipes for food that we made to share with the family. These recipes were special for us because we know that Sophie would have loved eating them and also because many of the ingredients were grown in our garden, or the gardens of our family and friends. Sophie was an organic gardener by heart and by trade, so I think she really would have appreciated these dishes. This is for you, Sophie. We miss you every day.

Chopped Arabic Salad

I found this salad on epicurious.com and tried it today. It resembles something a rabbit might enjoy, but it's actually quite tasty for humans, too. Sophie's sister, Ruby, told me that Sophie loved purslane, one of the ingredients. Many folks might see purslane as a weed, but it's actually edible, tasty and super healthy for you. Up until about a week ago, I pulled out those suckers out of my garden as fast as I could, but now that I know, I'll let them grow. Many thanks to the CSA we're participating in as we got a big bag of purslane this week. Sophie always said that weeds are just plants that are growing somewhere you don't want them to grow. If you have purslane in your garden, give it a chance. You might just discover that you like it! If you can't find purslane in your garden, local market or farmstand, you can leave it out of this salad, but it's definitely worth looking for.

• 1 lemon
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 (1/2-lb) cucumbers, peeled, halved lengthwise, seeded, and cut into 1/4-inch dice (2 1/3 cups)
• 1 lb tomatoes (3 medium), cut into 1/3-inch dice (2 1/2 cups)
• 1 cup finely chopped red onion (1 small) or 1 cup chopped scallions (about 5)
• 1 cup coarsely chopped purslane
• 1 cup finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
• 1/2 cup finely chopped fresh mint

Cut peel, including all white pith, from lemon with a sharp paring knife. Working over a bowl, cut segments from half of lemon free from membranes and transfer segments to a cutting board, then squeeze juice from membranes and remaining 1/2 lemon into bowl. Transfer 2 tablespoons juice to a large bowl, then finely chop segments and add to measured juice. Add salt, pepper, and oil, whisking to combine, then stir in remaining ingredients.

Zucchini and Sweet Potato Bread

Many of our faithful readers (we recently got confirmation that we do have more than one reader!!!) probably know how to make zucchini bread. Maybe they even have a recipe memorized. This one is slightly different because it has sweet potato in it, but the basic recipe is pretty much the same. I modified it to make it healthier, but you can find the original recipe here. The recipe as is makes too much for one loaf, but not enough for two. I made one regular sized loaf and then used my u(imagine an umlaut over that u)ber-cute turquoise Pyrex vintage mini loaf pan for the extra batter.

• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
  
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/4 cups sugar
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup applesauce or pear sauce
  
• 3 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups grated zucchini
• 1 1/2 cups grated peeled sweet potato
• 1 cup chopped walnuts, toasted (toasting is optional)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter and flour 9x5x3-inch loaf pan. Sift first 5 ingredients into medium bowl. Beat sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla to blend in large bowl. Mix in zucchini and sweet potato. Add dry ingredients and walnuts and stir well.

Transfer batter to prepared pan. Bake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 1 hour 20 minutes. Cool bread in pan on rack 15 minutes. Cut around bread to loosen. Turn out onto rack and cool completely. It really does take that long to bake.

Sophie, Sophie, Sophie.

These Fish Tacos are the Tits.

If you’ve seen I Love You, Man then you appreciate the humor of the title of this post. If not, then you’re potentially slightly offended and may not want to try my fish tacos now. But you are missing out on a lot of laughing, so go see the movie, and then come back and read this blog post and make these fish tacos and remark, over tequila shots, that they’re the tits.

We’ve had thousands of reader comments requesting that we put more recipes on our blog. We’ve listened, readers, and here you go! I only had to send out about 45 apron orders yesterday so I had a little extra time to make dinner for once.

Okay, I’m kidding. We’ve had about five reader comments ever. (Thanks, Mrs. Ferraresi!) And yesterday I was just procrastinating school work and I was hungry. So I made fish tacos. And they were the tits.

Here’s what I did.

I laid at the pool and read Bon Appetit for an hour. I decided I didn’t want to make any of the things in there because it was all about grilling I didn’t want to have to wait for all the charcoal to burn because I suck at it and my big strong charcoal man was not going to be home until 10. So I hopped on my iPhone, harvested some Zombie Farm crops, and then looked around on my epicurious app. All of a sudden I realized that I wanted lime. And I wanted it now. So instead of drinking mojitos and eating green popsicles all evening, I further decided I wanted fish tacos. And I wanted them now.

I sort of have this thing where I look up a recipe and then I decide they don’t know what they’re talking about and I just use the ingredients as a guideline. So I ran down to Stop and Shop and bought the ingredients I needed, double the jalapenos, plus some coronas. The man at the seafood counter was really upset about the impending rain. I think he wanted me to go tell the manager to close the store. He also told me that he thought I had ordered “a pound of cat” when I ordered “a pound of cod”. He asked if I wanted the whiskers. In hindsight, I think he was flirting with me. He must have known about my cleanse and my awesome new fitness routine. (Which has been sidelined due to me being a baby about a stubbed toe and a skinned knee my new spot on the 15-day disabled list)

I digress. Make these fish tacos. They’re the tits.


Note, you need about 30-45 minutes for all the ingredients to marinate. You can marinate them for up to a day. Don’t you hate when recipes don’t tell you that until you’ve got everything ready to go and your mother-in-law is coming over for dinner in 25 minutes?

Ingredients (modified to my, and your, liking. trust me)

1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1 1/2 cups red wine vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
2 teaspoons chili powder
2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 cup lightly packed fresh cilantro leaves, chopped, plus more for garnish (unless you’re a supertaster!!)
2 jalapeños, stemmed and chopped
2 avocados, unless you’re a broke, unemployed graduate student such as myself
1 pound flaky white fish (such as mahi mahi or cod), cut into 4 pieces
8 fresh corn tortillas, soft, crunchy, or both, however you roll.
Sour cream
Shredded cheese
Fresh salsa
1 lime, cut into quarters

Procedure:

1. Marinate the Onion: Put the onion in a small bowl and pour in enough red wine vinegar to cover well. Set aside for at least 30 minutes or up to several weeks.

2. Marinate the Fish: Pour the olive oil into a small bowl and add the ancho chile powder, oregano, cumin, chopped cilantro, and jalapeño. Mix well. Place the fish on a dish and pour the marinade over it, making sure to coat the fish well on both sides. Allow to marinate for 20 minutes.

3. Cook the Fish: Heat a nonstick sauté pan over medium-high heat. Remove the fish from the marinade and place in the hot pan (there is no need to add more oil). Cook the fish for 4 minutes undisturbed, then turn over, and cook for another 2 minutes. At this point I sort of just flipped it around the pan for a bit while I was loading the dishwasher and it all sort of just fell apart into one delicious-looking panful of flaky goodness. Make sure you mix it all up so the fish and jalapenos and spices are all evenly disbursed.

4. Wait Two Hours for your Boyfriend to Come Home

5. Heat the Tortillas: Heat up your soft shells and/or hard shells to your liking. Put all the toppings in pretty little bowls and put them on the table with pretty little spoons.

6. Put Everything Together and Eat It: you know how to assemble tacos, right? The limes are for squeezing. The marinated onions go in the tacos. Use them.

7. Remark, “these fish tacos are the tits!”