The Bacon Explosion

Men, this one is for you. No doubt it's important to know how to properly cook Swiss chard, and who can refuse a homemade oatmeal cookie?! But let’s face it: we know what you really want. Bacon. Lots of bacon. Bacon with sausage. Lots of sausage.

This is the Bacon Explosion. We made it, ate it, and lived to tell about it.

We deviated somewhat from the original Bacon Explosion recipe, so here’s our take on it. This is what you’ll need:

• 2 lbs of sliced bacon (2 packages)
• 2 lbs of sweet Italian ground sausage (you can take the meat out of the casing by hand if you can only find links. If you do this, press the loose sausage together meat in a bowl before using)
• ½ a pepper, chopped (we used green, but you can use any color)
• ½ a medium onion, chopped
• 5 or 6 white mushrooms, sliced
• Barbecue rub
• Barbecue sauce

Step 1. Fry up one pound of bacon in a frying pan, as crispy as you like. Once it has cooled, break it into small pieces with your fingers. This is part of the filling.

Step 2. Sauté the pepper, onion, and mushrooms until soft and the onion is translucent. For added deliciousness, you can do this in the leftover bacon fat.

Step 3. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees (the original recipe calls for it to be smoked. We don’t have a smoker, but baking it worked pretty well. If you choose to smoke it, you’re on your own).

Step 4. Weave the remaining pound of uncooked bacon: place several slices down side-by-side, touching. We used 6, but the width of your bacon may differ. Starting at the bottom, weave one slice of bacon at a time across the slices you already laid down. Do this until you have created a bacon mat.

Step 5. Admire your work. Who says men can’t weave?! If you have extra bacon after making your mat, lay them on top of the weave. Who says you can't have extra bacon?!

Step 6. Press the ground sausage over the bacon mat evenly.

Step 7. Spread the sautéed veggies and bacon pieces evenly over the sausage (unfortunately, this is when you have to stop munching on the cooked bacon pieces, since they’ve now touched the raw sausage).

Step 8. Drizzle barbecue sauce and sprinkle the rub over the veggies and bacon.

Step 9. Roll just the sausage, veggies and bacon from the bottom to the top of the mat, separating from the mat as you go. This will form a nice big sausage log.

Step 10. Roll the sausage log and the bacon mat towards you, covering the sausage with the bacon mat. Be sure to press the bacon mat into the sausage, getting any air bubbles out. Your bacon explosion has been constructed and now it’s time for cooking.

Step 11. Place your Bacon Explosion in the oven on a baking sheet, covered in aluminum foil. We used a slotted sheet placed over a deeper sheet to catch the drippings. Bake covered for an hour, then removed the cover and bake for another hour and a half or so. When the internal temperature reaches 175 degrees, remove it from the oven. Slice, slather with barbecue sauce, and enjoy. Don’t make plans for the rest of the day. Tomorrow, plan to shop for larger clothes. This might not be your last bacon explosion.

The Bitch is Still Gardening....a long overdue update!

Hi all. I know you've been chomping at the bit to find out how my gardening is going, especially after I left you hanging with my previous riveting posts about my Adventures in Gardening. Okay, I admit - this might be a bit of an exaggeration. But, I'm dying to tell you, so here you go!

I've decided I will never grow a viney or bushy squash-bearing plant ever again. Sorry zucchini, sorry summer squash. I do love you so, but after being plagued by the absolutely nasty, totally disgusting, worse-than-anchovies Squash Vine Borer, I have left the squash business forever. Seriously, the "frass" (poo) they leave behind is gross enough to make me want to stop gardening forever. Anyone out there agree with me? Ugh! I'd rather look at a potato bug all day. Hmmm...actually that's a toss up. Those Jerusalem Crickets (another name for potato bugs) are pretty grody. See for yourself (if you dare.....).

Okay, moving past icky bugs (and I'm the resident bug remover in our house so you know these bugs must be pretty nasty for me to be bothered by them), another reason I am never growing any kind of viney thing is that my garden doesn't have a lot of ventilation because of the wooden fence around our yard, so plants that are prone to getting powdery mildew get it with a vengeance. I know there are actions I can take to take to help control the pesky whiteness that took over the leaves of my cukes, mystery winter squash and summer squash, but I am more interested in low-maintenance gardening. With a little one scampering around and getting into everything, the last thing I want to be doing is spending half my day washing my plant leaves. I'll leave the squash growing up to my neighbor, Milt. He has quite a green thumb when it comes to squash and a much better ventilated garden.

So, the powdery mildew led to a cathartic 10 minutes pulling out my squash/cuke plants and chucking them over the fence into the arms of my amazing husband who didn't know what he was getting himself into (when he happened to walk by the fence, not when he married me, which is what you were thinking, right?). Now, I have a lovely 3'x5' area in my garden ready for some late beets and peas (if I ever get around to planting the seeds!). Speaking of beets, I just harvested a few this week. My hopes for a bumper crop of beets were dashed when I discovered that most of my beet plants were mostly just leaves with these piddly little "beets" for roots. About 1/2 wide at the most, my beets were a big disappointment. I was able to get about four that were about 2 inches across. When I cut into one this week, I discovered one of the most beautiful vegetables I had ever seen. Check it out!


I also grew potatoes this summer and last week, I harvested about 15 potatoes from 5 plants. I expected to get a lot more, but I recall saying that I would be happy if I only got one, so I'M HAPPY! My carrots are still growing, but I did pick a few this week. Tasty! I roasted the beets and some of my potatoes and carrots. Roasting vegetables and potatoes is fun because it's easy, it smells good and seems really fancy so you can impress your eating partner. It's a great way to cook if you're just starting out. Just chop 'em up, throwing on some olive oil and seasoning and pop 'em in the oven at 400 degrees until they're done (usually about 15 - 30 minutes depending n what you're cooking). Here they are before I roasted the heck out of them.


Well, that's it for the gardening update. I hope your gardens are happily producing. I'm off to see about harvesting my peppers. Fun! I'll leave you with a few pictures.

Cubanelle peppers enjoying the sunshine.



Some flowers living up to their name.

A Cool Groupon up in Vermont

Hey readers, we thought you might like this groupon. It is a two-night stay at a Vermont resort plus a cooking class for two for $349. If you're new to Groupon, it is a website that posts short-term deals in certain regions and the deal only becomes valid if a certain number of people sign up for it. This one is already "tipped", which means enough people signed up. If you're new to Vermont, it's gorgeous. If you're new to cooking classes, hmm, so am I.

The deal is valid for stays from November through April and there is a load of classes you can choose from. Some noteworthy classes are Make Like a Bear on November 7 or Holiday in Spain on December 11.

If you're in the New England area or want to be in the New England area, check it out! The deal expires at the end of the day.

If you don't yet live by Groupon, check out the website here.

And the winner is.......

The day you've all been waiting for! We reached 400 Facebook fans!!!! As promised, we've randomly selected a winner (using a random number generator and everything!).

And now....

The winner...

Of the 2010 The Bitch Stopped Cooking product giveaway...

Marilyn Downs!!!

AND!!! There's more!!! We are also giving away a prize to our 400th fan!

Wow!!!

Our 400th fan was......

Dawn Yardeni!!!

Marilyn and Dawn, contact us on Facebook so we can mail you your choice of an apron or dishtowel.

Didn't win? That's okay! Check out our products so you can own your very own The Bitch Stopped Cooking gear.

Another Manterview!

Our amazingly talented cook and cousin, Liz interviewed her hubby about his experience cooking. He's got some really intelligent answers and tips that can really help someone who is new to cooking. You know Liz from our bake sale at Sophie's Sale. Her incredible vegan cupcakes wowed everyone. You can also read Liz's testimonial about how The Bitch Stopped Cooking helped her relationship with her husband and her own experience in the kitchen.


Liz: Do you like cooking?

Andy: Yeah, sure, I like cooking. It depends. I really don't like it in a small kitchen. It is not nearly as good as when I have room do to stuff.

L: What about cooking do you like?

A: Figuring out what combinations work with others, making healthy meals, sharing a healthy meal with others. Trying to make something that others like is part of the fun. Part of the goal is you want to make something others like or appreciate. If it doesn't happen the way you wanted, you move on. Another chance will come again.

L: What about cooking do you dislike?

A: Manterviews! Just kidding. Timing – having everything come out poorly because of lack of experience with a new dish – being able to time the steps accordingly – it never goes by the book if you don't have the experience; improper equipment - not being able to experiment without the proper array of kitchen equipment; Hofstadter's Law

L: What advice would you give to men who are just starting in the kitchen?

A: Don't bite off more than you can chew to start. Start with small recipes that you are familiar with. Learn about your ingredients. Watch good home cooks and help them. Sous Chef at family gatherings. Something simple can be as good or better as something complex. Simple can be really pleasing to others.

L: What is your favorite dish that I make?

A: Hmmmm It is between the lemon-caper tofu and the tofu with mushrooms and pasta. That's a tough one. There are a lot of things that you make really well that I wouldn't say is favored one over another.

L: What is your favorite thing to make?

A: LoMein. That's a lot of fun. Its a project, but it is fun. Because it is a project you don't get to do it very often, which makes it even better when you do get to have it. It satisfies a wide variety of culinary desires. The things that make a meal satisfying, the LoMein has checkmarks in a lot of those boxes. It is juicy, unctuous because of the oil combinations, it is crisp because of the veggies. It is a balanced meal all by itself – carbs, proteins, wholesome array of veggies.

L: What is one of the biggest challenges that you have overcome as you have gotten more comfortable with your cooking?

A: Being able to improvise and having the knowledge not to totally offend or malign the food that I am improvising with. That comes from my earlier statement about understanding your ingredients. For example, now I know it is preferential to roast potatoes. I used to fry my potatoes all the time, but now I roast them. It is much easier to do and healthier. That is what I mean about understanding your ingredients.

L: Do you think that women belong in the kitchen?

A: Yes! Barefoot, pregnant, and makin' me a sammich! Actually, no, but traditional gender roles have offered me an experience of women being culinary mentors. You know, your mom taught you how to cook and her mom probably taught her and her mom's mom and so on.

L: Is there any question that I should have asked you but I didn't?

A: Yes.

Guest Blogger Testimonial: Mary Connealy

From time to time, we will feature guest bloggers here at The Bitch Stopped Cooking. Today's guest blogger is Mary Connealy, an author (romantic comedy cowboy tales!) who stopped cooking after 27 years. Check out her story below. If you're interested in being a guest on our blog (or having us as a guest on yours), please let us know!

Any pictures, opinions, views, formatting and all content in our guest blog posts belong solely to the guest blogger. If you are interested in borrowing anything, using a picture or quoting them, please contact the guest blogger directly. Contact information for Mary follows her post.

Read on!

I was a stay-at-home mom for 27 years. I had a very traditional marriage.
I raised four daughters while my husband worked his backside off. He came home at night tired and hungry. He’d shower and I tried very hard to be right there, putting the food on, when he collapsed at the table.
Our last daughter was a bit of a straggler. Five years between her and her next older sister. So all the older girls were grown and out of the house and the ‘baby’ (she hates being called that) was in high school when we decided he could either quit or lose his mind.
I believe my exact words were, “What’s your mental health worth, because you seem to be going crazy.” (well, my exact words were probably not quite so sassy. But I’m trying to make this more interesting than the truth. Yes, some fanatics might call that lying, but still. . .)
So he couldn’t really afford to quit his second job but we decided he just had to and we had to take our chances at surviving with less money. So, one day, I got this strange phone call offering me a job.
I had never applied for it. I’d never heard of this job. I had no training for it.
These were, as it turned out, not impediments.
It was to teach GED.
And I was no teacher.
I told the man all the reasons I wasn’t right for the job and he said, “So, do you want it or not?”
Sure.
And it was a good job. Federal, full time, benefits. I suddenly had a freakin’ 401k.
My husband quit his second job.
And here came these checks.
It’s call a salary. I know this sounds naïve but I just hadn’t ever seriously considered earning money. I was a stay-at-home mom. It was how I defined myself. Except I was just a stay-at-home WIFE at this point, because my last ‘MOM’ project was pretty much grown.
So my husband started cooking. (you knew I had to get to the cooking part eventually)
He was just so delighted with his much increased free time and the money coming in from such an unexpected source (me!) that he said he was going to pitch in.
He’s a very simple cook. He broils meat and boils vegetables. That’s pretty much it. But you know what? It’s a really healthy way to eat. No more cheesy casseroles. No more dessert. No more fried zucchini or gravy or potato salad.
I miss that stuff. But there is NOTHING more wonderful than stepping into a house and smelling food and knowing I can now just collapse at the table and have a meal laid before me. What a beautiful thing!
I really recommend to every woman, stay at home for a while. Hopefully when/if you go to work he’ll appreciate it enough to step in at home. And if he doesn’t, then he’s really kind of a jerk.
I’ll add here that all those years I was at home I was also writing. Trying to get a book published. And two years after my first lovely, full-time paycheck started rolling in, I did it.
I got a contract for my first romance novel. I write romantic comedy with cowboys.
Since then I’ve gotten fifteen more books published, with contracts for ten more stretching out four years, with hopes for much, much more. And I continue to work teaching GED. (I can multiply fractions like nobody’s business. So, if you’ve got any questions please contact me directly.)
My husband, I think because he was so completely comfortable in our traditional marriage was really acutely aware of the change, which is why he stepped up so willingly.
He now mows the lawn. Cleans the house. Does the laundry. And cooks, I’d say 90% of the meals. And as I write this, I realize that I now work at two jobs. But no heavy lifting, so I’m good with it.
I help with some of it, but you know—it’s really not my job.

“If they’re sassing each other and falling in love while running for their lives, then I’m happy.”

Mary Connealy writes books that bring humor to the Wild West. Her most recent release is Doctor in Petticoats, book one of a three book series.

Mary is married to a rancher and has four beautiful daughters and one stunningly beautiful granddaughter.

Find me online at:
Seekerville
Petticoats & Pistols
My Blog
My Website

The Elusive 400 - and a new poll question!

Hey faithful blog readers! As you probably know, we're running a contest on Facebook. Once we reach 400 fans, we will give one lucky fan a choice a The Bitch Stopped Cooking apron or dishtowel! All you have to do to enter the contest is leave a comment here or on our Facebook page! So, refer your friends! We only need a few more!


We've got a new poll question. Check it out over there!