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I raised four daughters while my husband worked his backside off. He came home at night tired and hungry. He’d shower and I tried very hard to be right there, putting the food on, when he collapsed at the table.
Our last daughter was a bit of a straggler. Five years between her and her next older sister. So all the older girls were grown and out of the house and the ‘baby’ (she hates being called that) was in high school when we decided he could either quit or lose his mind.
I believe my exact words were, “What’s your mental health worth, because you seem to be going crazy.” (well, my exact words were probably not quite so sassy. But I’m trying to make this more interesting than the truth. Yes, some fanatics might call that lying, but still. . .)
So he couldn’t really afford to quit his second job but we decided he just had to and we had to take our chances at surviving with less money. So, one day, I got this strange phone call offering me a job.
I had never applied for it. I’d never heard of this job. I had no training for it.
These were, as it turned out, not impediments.
It was to teach GED.
And I was no teacher.
I told the man all the reasons I wasn’t right for the job and he said, “So, do you want it or not?”
And it was a good job. Federal, full time, benefits. I suddenly had a freakin’ 401k.
My husband quit his second job.
And here came these checks.
It’s call a salary. I know this sounds naïve but I just hadn’t ever seriously considered earning money. I was a stay-at-home mom. It was how I defined myself. Except I was just a stay-at-home WIFE at this point, because my last ‘MOM’ project was pretty much grown.
So my husband started cooking. (you knew I had to get to the cooking part eventually)
He was just so delighted with his much increased free time and the money coming in from such an unexpected source (me!) that he said he was going to pitch in.
He’s a very simple cook. He broils meat and boils vegetables. That’s pretty much it. But you know what? It’s a really healthy way to eat. No more cheesy casseroles. No more dessert. No more fried zucchini or gravy or potato salad.
I miss that stuff. But there is NOTHING more wonderful than stepping into a house and smelling food and knowing I can now just collapse at the table and have a meal laid before me. What a beautiful thing!
I really recommend to every woman, stay at home for a while. Hopefully when/if you go to work he’ll appreciate it enough to step in at home. And if he doesn’t, then he’s really kind of a jerk.
I’ll add here that all those years I was at home I was also writing. Trying to get a book published. And two years after my first lovely, full-time paycheck started rolling in, I did it.
I got a contract for my first romance novel. I write romantic comedy with cowboys.
Since then I’ve gotten fifteen more books published, with contracts for ten more stretching out four years, with hopes for much, much more. And I continue to work teaching GED. (I can multiply fractions like nobody’s business. So, if you’ve got any questions please contact me directly.)
My husband, I think because he was so completely comfortable in our traditional marriage was really acutely aware of the change, which is why he stepped up so willingly.
He now mows the lawn. Cleans the house. Does the laundry. And cooks, I’d say 90% of the meals. And as I write this, I realize that I now work at two jobs. But no heavy lifting, so I’m good with it.
I help with some of it, but you know—it’s really not my job.
“If they’re sassing each other and falling in love while running for their lives, then I’m happy.”
Mary Connealy writes books that bring humor to the Wild West. Her most recent release is Doctor in Petticoats, book one of a three book series.
Mary is married to a rancher and has four beautiful daughters and one stunningly beautiful granddaughter.
Find me online at:
Petticoats & Pistols