The Bitch Stopped Feeling Fat and Tired - Part One

Jeepers creepers I’ve been so busy cooking that I haven’t had time to blog! I made it through the first day of my cleanse! It was actually rather easy and sort of nice to already know what I was going to be eating for every meal, and to already have it prepared and with me. I will say that the cooking took a long time… but I also had to prepare lunch, dinner, and snacks ahead of time because I had class all day and night.

I did make a valiant effort with the eggs. In the morning. Off a plate. I used one egg and two egg whites instead of three egg whites, added a little extra black pepper, and gagged down about half of it. I think the whole point was to have a. the protein and b. the basil. So later in the day I used an extra half teaspoon of basil in my salad. I didn’t make up for the protein but I probably could have. I didn’t find myself particularly ravenous all day, although I did want something delicious like bread or pizza.

The lemon water wasn’t too bad. I ended up bringing a straw with me at the last minute and I am really glad I did because it is SO sour and when I am one of the Beautiful People I’m gonna need to still have teeth.

The artichoke was…. Interesting. I steamed it the night before and I really didn’t know what to do with it. My dear friend Marisa, who happens to be an Licensed Artichoke Expert informed me that I need to peel off all the leaves and then peel off all the fuzzy stuff to get to the heart. Turns out I cut off the heart when I was attempting to prepare my artichoke. Whoops. But I did eat all the “meat” out of the leaves. That was good. And time consuming.

My dinner exhausted me. First of all I ate it in my disgusting Dysphagia (swallowing disorders) class so we were talking about gross stuff and seeing videos of dead bodies and their tongues and mouth mucosa. So that put a little damper on my dinner. I think I may have brought too much. You’re supposed to eat as many vegetables as you want and I guess I was anticipating being starving so I brought a ton. I couldn’t finish it all but I did eat a lot. Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious, but it was just a lot.

Coffee, coffee, coffee. I tried to replace my caffeine with the prescribed green tea and ended up drinking about six cups of it in order to stave off a withdrawal headache. It worked until about 9pm and I was hit pretty hard with a headache. I was also pretty lethargic all day and sort of sad. All I wanted to do was come home and hang out with Dan. Maybe I have an emotional addiction to coffee. I am going to try one more day without coffee and then I might have to have a cup of unsweetened black coffee the last two days.

You’re supposed to “pamper” yourself twice a day. I did double pampering just one time, in the evening. After I had gotten everything done around the house I made a face masque that the nutritionist recommends. It uses yogurt, oats, and honey. I made it and put it on, and while wearing it I soaked my feet with hot water and this heavenly soap that my mom makes. And I sat there for about fifteen minutes reading and hoping Dan wouldn’t walk through the door and get frightened by the fact that I had breakfast all over my face. I sort of just got anxious about the fact that I wasn’t doing anything and I had a lot to do, along with the fact that I hadn’t grabbed a towel before soaking my feet. Pampering is for the birds.

In addition to pampering, you're supposed to do 45 minutes of cardio. I did.... maybe 25 minutes (on the wii). BUT I did jumping jacks a few times throughout the day. And I took the stairs whenever I could. And parked far away. So I am counting it.

You are also supposed to set some personal goals, which I did. You can see my little checklist of things I am going to try to do for myself while cleansing.

So, pardon my tardiness in posting this, but that was day 1. Stay tuned for day 2, which is actually today. BIG SURPRISES await you, readers. Big surprises.